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Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
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It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
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I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
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After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
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Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
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There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
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The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
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I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Men have become the tools of their tools.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 06:14
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